Yuma Is A Place, Johnny Is His Name.

I’ve been kicking it up North the past few days, miles from civilization and without a ride. Like any former Beaver I came prepared, packing a Spaghetti Western 20-pack to amuse myself. Tonight while Mom was harvesting rotten pineapples on Facebook, I decided to watch Johnny Yuma. About halfway in, I noticed that it was past Mom’s bedtime and that she had once again neglected her virtual farm, this time for the dubious charms of Johnny. She said she was heavily invested by this point and was going to ride it to the end, which was a shame because Johnny Yuma was mostly boring, overlong and not a very good representative for the genre. I was wishing I had some Leone or Corbucci on hand.
The best part of the film came just before the big showdown, with Johnny stooping it with a giant bottle of beer while he waited. That’s just what amigos did before they invented the 7/11. When his rival showed up, Mom asked me what the rules of engagement were. The internal consistancy of Spaghetti Westerns are at least a few times removed from that of an American Western, and even those have little resemblance to reality as it is. Spaghetti Westerns are from another planet, man. How do you even begin to explain?









