Some poor soul has finally taken pity on my baby brother and agreed to marry him.

Congratulations, guys!

Both of my brothers are already celebrating Christmas in the future, weakening relations abroad with their gargantuan frames, flailing limbs and overall clumsy ways. And though they conspire to destroy me, their Past Brother, I would like to wish them both a very Merry Christmas. It’s just not the same without them around.

I’ve been kicking it up North the past few days, miles from civilization and without a ride. Like any former Beaver I came prepared, packing a Spaghetti Western 20-pack to amuse myself. Tonight while Mom was harvesting rotten pineapples on Facebook, I decided to watch Johnny Yuma. About halfway in, I noticed that it was past Mom’s bedtime and that she had once again neglected her virtual farm, this time for the dubious charms of Johnny. She said she was heavily invested by this point and was going to ride it to the end, which was a shame because Johnny Yuma was mostly boring, overlong and not a very good representative for the genre. I was wishing I had some Leone or Corbucci on hand.

The best part of the film came just before the big showdown, with Johnny stooping it with a giant bottle of beer while he waited. That’s just what amigos did before they invented the 7/11. When his rival showed up, Mom asked me what the rules of engagement were. The internal consistancy of Spaghetti Westerns are at least a few times removed from that of an American Western, and even those have little resemblance to reality as it is. Spaghetti Westerns are from another planet, man. How do you even begin to explain?

Months ago I was over at Cheel’s place getting footage for my demo when he showed me part of his most recent project, a documentary on local legend Cap’n Video. I was disappointed to learn that it wasn’t going to be feature-length. Imagine my joy to discover that Jay has seen the light and will be giving the good Cap’n the treatment he desrves.

I was rooting around the internet for Tony DeZuniga stuff the other day, as you do, when I stumbled across these images for a comic entitled Wild Days. I was surprised that I had never heard of it, and thought for a moment that they might be pages from his upcoming Jonah Hex graphic novel, but it turns out they’re from indie publisher A First Salvo.

I can’t tell if A First Salvo is still a going concern, and if they are whether they’re still considering publishing Wild Days, but it would be a damn shame if a Tony DeZuniga western was left out in the cold, especially one that looks as promising as this.

Oh, that music, those graphics…

I had a dream the other night that the Maury Povich show had been canceled. I didn’t mind, until I realized that we would never find out if Valchas was the father of any of the 21 children various women claimed were his. It was the worst unresolved cliffhanger of my entire life.