I wish to give sweet birth to this amazing video. It says so much with oh so little…

Word on the street is that Archie is getting hitched. This may seem like a good idea, but history has shown us that while Archie may be good for a few laughs and some heavy petting, he’s hardly ideal husband material.

It all starts in Dream Boy as drawn by Dan DeCarlo, with Veronica confiding her secret dream to Betty of giving up the one barrier that keeps her from being with Archie; the vast Lodge fortune. Veronica takes to domesticity surprisingly well, raising the twins on gruel and love while finally finding happiness in Archie’s arms.

Betty also has a dream of the future. Having given up her rivalry with Veronica for Archie’s affections, she’s discovered by Hollywood scouts and becomes a starlet. Unfortunately, upon her return to Riverdale she also turns homewrecker.

How soon we forget, Betty.

Note: After hitting play, the annotations in the video can be disabled by clicking the arrow in the lower-right corner and choosing the the top button.

Five years ago I picked up a bunch of public domain cartoons in cheap cardboard sleeves at a dollar store. Since then I’ve watched only a few of the cartoons on these discs, but until now I had avoided the one DVD that most fascinated me; the original Tom & Jerry as produced by the Van Bueren studio.

With its evil, mind-shattering cover, this is the Necronomicon of public domain cartoons. I can’t stop looking at it. My greatest fear was that the cartoons found within could not possibly match the horrifying power of this intern-provided illustration. To my surprise, the first short on the disc met my lofty expectations.

I love the jazzy, urban feel to the East Coast cartoons of the early thirties, best exemplified by the Fleischers, the studio behind Betty Boop and Popeye. The Van Bueren studio couldn’t hope to match their technical virtuosity, but I’ve always enjoyed cartoons that are a little off. Judging by the animation in Piano Tooners, Van Bueren couldn’t keep on-model for more than a few seconds, but damn if the characters’ elasticity doesn’t have a lot of personality. There’s something almost hypnotic about it.

I wouldn’t normally try to push anyone into watching any of these cartoons, but I implore you, at the very least watch the gag that starts at 1:50. The Golden Age of animation was a theatre of pain, and I’ve watched my fair share of cartoon brutality, but that bit with the false note is the most cruel thing I have ever seen in a cartoon.

It dawned on me recently that I don’t really watch short cartoons anymore. It may have something to do with making the transition from 2-D to 3-D over the last few years. Recent changes in my life have led me to embrace my roots once again, and starting tomorrow I will be attempting to watch a theatrical cartoon every day as found in the hundreds of shorts I own on DVD, most of which I have yet to enjoy.

“If anyone I know owned a Warriors vest, it would be you.” – J.

Man, I love this picture. Can you guess the beautiful person?

Thanks to John K and his lovely blog! I’m going through it beginning to end or bust.

iPhone, that is. ZING! hahahaha!!!!

If I knew women like this existed when I was growing up, I may have developed at a faster pace and with nunchucks. I can appreciate someone taking the time for one true love. I myself am getting reacquainted with my love of Dr.Phil. In his immortal words at the beginning of each episode…”Let’s do it”.

I don’t have much to say about this year’s incredible Toronto Comic Arts Festival, as I’m always mindful of the length of the few conversations I have with people manning tables. I hate to think that my blathering will keep someone from a sale. Regardless, here are a few things I took away from the event.

Kate Beaton is so nice that she’ll insist that you shake hands with her, Swine Flu be damned.

Kagan McLeod has an awesome idea for a Herschell Gordon Lewis-themed sketchbook.

Scott McCloud is intimidated by sketching, but his daughter shows no such fear.

Chip Zdarsky and Rich Stevens III are far more approachable and sincere than their work would suggest.

Jim Rugg is very passionate about colouring in comics.

Justin Hall really knows how to sell a book.

Christopher Butcher really knows how to sell library tote bags.

There were so many great attendees, that I’m only now realizing that a few of them were even there, like Becky Cloonan and David Collier.

Lucy Knisley and Erika Moen are an unstoppable tag-team juggernaut.

Graham Annable and Scott C. are their male counterparts.

Tom Neely owns the only tattoos I have ever wanted for myself.

Seth was all smiles even when he was asking me to destroy the book I had him sign.